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The Struggle Is Real

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Post-1-9 Post-2-8 Post-3-5 Post-4-5 Post-5-5 Post-6-5I know I’ve been quiet.

It’s been the kind of month where you put your head down and slog through.

Some days, you don’t even get out of your pajamas. By some days, I mean Monday. And yesterday. And maybe tomorrow. (I figure every other day is a reasonable dressed to jammie ratio.)

We’ve been busy with family chaos, spring sports kick-off, home ownership updates (and deciding if we want to continue the plans to make updates or move) and just some general yuckiness.

And I don’t have words.

I mean, I have them. But I also have the fear that someone is going to read them. Either some perfectly well-meaning person who reads the blog will bump into me and use the blog to start a conversation and then stare at me in confusion while I try to do words in real life (true story) or someone I care about is going to read what I write and think I sound like an idiot or worry (also true story).  Or wonder why I waste so much time writing about knitting and television and why I don’t go do something productive with my life (which if hasn’t happened yet, probably should). So lately I just write in my journal. Or spend way too much time writing whiny self-indulgent paragraphs a lot like this one.  Most of the time, I wise up and delete them.

But then Jules’ posted this (which is hilarious and honest) and I started thinking about Rita and her thoughts on shitty first drafts (Rita gets the credit and the blame for a lot of my internet usage these days) and I just got sick of not posting anything.

So I’m slogging through life and blog post writing.

Random bits:

I’m watching True Blood (based on the Sookie Stackhouse “The Southern Vampire Mysteries” series). I read the books which were terrible but fun ages ago and had no interest in watching the series, but I can’t seem to connect with anything so I thought I’d try it. I’ve watched the first three episodes. And…I spent a good part of the episode gagging, so I’m not sure it’s going to be the right show for me. I also watched the first season of The Americans (I like it, don’t LOVE it), and the third season of Orphan Black. Tatiana Maslany is a genius of an actress (and Canadian, Marian). My knitting is chugging along slowly.

I made some ridiculously delicious muffins (and took lots of pictures of the process and was going to only post one or two, but then they ended up being the only pictures I took) as well as a giant mess of ceramic bowl and broccoli slaw.

I’ve been reading the same book for over a month. Every time, I get about a chapter in and fall asleep. My brain is only letting me read trashy bodice rippers and YA because everything else just makes me yawn. (College me would be rolling her erudite eyes.)

The trees are starting to bud and the daffodils are out and in full bloom and my lily of the valley is starting to peek out (as is my inherited rhubarb. I need recipes. Or just people who like rhubarb. I always end up with a ton of it and I’m not the biggest fan). I need to decide what (if anything) I’m going to attempt in the garden this year. Last year it ended up being a giant pit of weeds with some radishes and green beans and two beautiful pumpkins, but I feel like I need to make more of an effort or skip it all together. Gardening thoughts? What’s easy? How do you keep on top of the weeds? Am I better off just putting in perennial flowers  and going to the farmers market for my veggies? HELP!

 


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